Getting back to the “real world”

All smiles on Monday morning for her first day

We survived our first week of daycare! I almost can’t believe how quickly my maternity leave flew by and how our little Heidi will be 3 months old in a few days.

Dropping her off on Monday was difficult but I kept my tears away until after I left the school. I know she’s in good hands but I was more upset about not seeing her happy face all day long. The great thing is that everyday I picked her up she saw me and smiled, which pretty much made my heart explode over and over again. Thank God she missed me.. or maybe just missed the boob, but whatever, that’s me too lol!

I was lucky to have a trial transition this week instead of having to jump back into a full-time work day. I’m sort of in this limbo period between jobs as my current company moves our office to Miami and my new gig gets ramped up. So I put in a few hours a day at the new place to help get us used to an early morning routine and figure out how much time it takes to get us both ready and packed to get out the door. My new office is only about 20 minutes from the daycare in evening traffic so I’m really glad the commute is much closer; it helps with my worry about being on the other side of town from my girl.

Of course being in a new environment has its challenges but overall Heidi is adjusting very well. She doesn’t sleep as much while she’s at school so the evenings this week have been extra sleepy. She woke up for a dream feed 3/5 nights which I wasn’t used to but she went back down easily so I could still get some rest before the alarm went off. 

It was nice to have some more structure to our days this week and for me to feel more like me again with work. Don’t get me wrong, I loved maternity leave and the lazy days and no-limit flexibility but I like working and I’m looking forward to having something for myself again. I’m sure I’ll have days of extreme mom guilt because I’ll miss the small things throughout the day but we’ll find our right balance and Heidi will still be a happy girl, make friends and learn her independence. And I’ll have a reason to get up and make myself presentable to society and contribute to growing a business. 

This will be our new norm soon. I’m mournful and excited for the next step in motherhood. I don’t have a newborn on my hands anymore.

First St. Paddy’s Day